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Posts Tagged ‘Life’

“In this world you will have trouble ….”
“The world would love you if you belonged to it…”
— the words of Jesus (John 16:33, John 15:19)

It can be hard to believe in ideals the world rejects. In such circumstances, how do we persevere in faith?

One: Remember what matters most.
It is tempting to value the material over the spiritual. But as Alfred Lord Tennyson so famously noted, “Nothing worth proving can be proven.” Paul succinctly described the Christian’s response to our visible world: “We walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). While we live in the present, it is hard to envision eternity. But one day soon, eternity will be all there is and we will be forever grateful that we chose faith.

Two: Refuse to quit.
Scripture promises: “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). In The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis has the chief tempter Screwtape advise his demonic understudy, “Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do [God’s] will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”

“….but take courage, for I have overcome the world. And, lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world.”                                     — Jesus (John 16:33 & Matthew 28:20)

with acknowledgement to Dr Jim Denison for the words and thoughts of One and Two above.

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The Super Bowl is this Sunday, and it will feature the New England Patriots — a franchise that has had an extended run of greatness, unlike any in team sports over the past quarter-century.  The owner of the team is Robert Kraft – who took a losing team and made it a winning one.

“Winning football games has been more important to me than making money. Winning is what turns me on. Money is pretty good, but a shroud has no pockets.” – Robert Kraft
There is great wisdom here. No, not winning football games, but rather, the realization that you can’t take it with you — “a shroud has no pockets.” So, what turns you on?  Is it something that you can’t take with you — or is it something of eternal value.
“Do not work for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life…” – Jesus

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humility

As I continue my wilderness wanderings/life introspection in this midlife sabbatical the Lord is leading me on, my thoughts today have rested on humility.
 
What is humility? – a modest view of one’s own importance; a viewing of others as more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3, NASB)
 
What others have said about humility:
 
“Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.”  – Confucius 
“Those who travel the high road of humility will not be troubled by heavy traffic.” – Alan Simpson
 
“Humility is so light a grace that once you think you have attained it, you’ve lost it.” – Unknown
 
“… all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” – the apostle Peter (1 Peter 5:5b, NASB)
 
As God is working in and through my examination of myself, my past actions and motives, what I know at this point is I could use a healthy dose of humility.  Realizing and acknowledging this has been painful, but I’ve got a little idea it will radically impact my life, particularly in terms of discovering and developing deep, meaningful friendships and relationships with others in a variety of contextual communities.  And from a fulfillment, significance and legacy standpoint, one of life’s 3 greatest blessings and needs (along with health and purpose) is meaningful friendships and relationships.  
 

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Twenty-seven years ago, I married the most beautiful woman on earth (she still is!).  I was young, brash, arrogant, selfish — but I didn’t realize it at the time.  I had told Mary before we were married (and for many years after), that I didn’t want children.  Not because I disliked babies or kids or teens…. but because I was convinced I would not make a good father, a good dad.

But I had no doubt whatsoever that I’d make a fantastic husband.  I thought I had all the “bible learning” down on being a good husband, and I thought I would exemplify what a good husband was.  Boy, was Mary lucky to have me!  That last part may not have been a conscious thought, but it might as well have been.

As it turned out, I knew nothing about being a good husband.  Without going into details, let’s just say I made it about me, my rights as a husband, the respect I “deserved” based on my biblical role as leader of my household.  I expected respect (without demonstrating I deserved it) and had little tolerance for anything I interpreted as questioning my role or my “wisdom.”  Frankly, I was a fool and a jackass.

But then came a day I’ll never forget.  My grandma, a wonderful woman of God with down-to-earth common sense, pulled me aside and basically let me know what a putz I was being as a husband.  My grandma was kind, sweet and extremely wise.  For her to “put me in my place” shocked my sensibilities, but it was sure necessary and I’m grateful she did it.  Her rebuke was and is a great example that corrective admonishment can be done out of love.

I wish I could say that from that day forward, I was indeed the husband the Bible calls for and the man of Mary’s dreams.  Unfortunately, that has not been the case.  But I have always been mindful of what I should be and hope I’ve made progress in that direction.

 

Having reached mid-life (assuming a “standard” life-expectancy!), I am heeding the warning of Socrates & Plato regarding an unexamined life.  As I reflect on my life and its results, I see a man who is in many ways hard to love and hard to like.  I see many friendships that have dried up, atrophied, faded — some due to what we call “life” (time, distance, changes in family or other circumstance); others due to neglect, and, I fear, my own self-centeredness.

More and more I realize the ripple effects through time my negative actions have on my family and the effects self-centeredness has had on my friendships.  And these (family and friends) are two primary means God uses to give life meaning and purpose.   I realize, without Mary, I would likely be alone and with little hope of an enriched life “on this mortal plain.”

As our marriage has unfolded, my wife has loved me when my words and actions have caused mental and emotional pain; she has loved me when I have failed to be a spiritual leader; she has loved me when I’ve been quick to anger; she has loved me, quite honestly, when I have been unlovable.

Many husbands, on occasions such as anniversaries, state, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”  But, if I could, I would.  Change who I married?  Not on your life!  Change the person I’ve been and behaviors I displayed?  Absolutely.

But, alas, I cannot do that.  What I can do is continue to preach the gospel to myself (especially in regards to forgiving myself), and I can strive to be a husband who loves his wife as Christ loved the church.  A calling and responsibility I far too often forget.  It is when I sacrifice myself, when I give of myself — when I intentionally lead for the present and eternal good of my family, when I put their welfare above my own desires that I have any good impact — in the now and in the future.  I can strive to be what my grandma admonished and reminded me I should be, and I look to God to redeem my past sins and to “make up for the years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2:25) as I seek to please Him in the more excellent way of love — particularly in the intentional love of a husband and father.

My wife has inexplicably continued to show me grace, mercy, forgiveness and love throughout our married life.  She has, in many ways, shown Christ in action.  God has indeed blessed me, and I continue to learn what love is and how to love because of Mary.

Thank you, honey, from all that is within me, for being my wife.

 

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